...motherfucker. Bogeymen. These strong-ass monsters don't have any weapons or special powers, but are powerful as hell and can crush a skull with a punch or kick.
Running through the woods, screaming like a little girl, I dart in between trees and over bushes in a desperate attempt to escape. Bogeymen will disappear come daytime, but the moon is high in the sky and I'm boxed in by a river. Sprinting past a copse of trees I trip over what feels like a soft boulder.
SLEEPING COUGAR.
The three of us briefly exchange glances, when suddenly it hits me. This dumbass woodland creature will be my salvation! Everybody knows cougars can't outrun bogeymen! Pushing the cat aside, I run north and then east, laughing as the bogeymen converge on him, kicking and biting and...oh...oh god, what in the fuck
what the fuck, man! No one deserves to die like that, not even an over-sized cat!
Steeling my resolve, I draw my sword and rush back to bogeymen, cursing my foolishness and soft heart. This furry creature will not die tonight, not by this fiend's hand!
COME AT ME
Taking the monster by surprise from behind, I quickly drive my sword deep into its back, piercing his lung. Stunned, the monster is helpless as I lop off his arm in one hard jab
The cougar, all broken bones and gushing wounds, attempts to drag itself away from the fight. Perhaps it's my imagination, but I think I can hear it growl "thank you...my only friend..."
One bogeyman down, but four more to go, so I resume my fleeing, this time to the north and west. Perhaps my good deed would go rewarded. The elves always speak about the forest spirits and their benevolence. Will the woodland creatures come to my aid?
A cete of badgers suddenly appear before me. The leader stands up on his hind legs and beckons to me to join his clan in their last, desperate charge against the foes
nah, fuck badgers. Sunrise eventually came and I escaped.
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