Saturday, February 18, 2012
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
The best-selling novel made for humans
"One of the necromancers in this world has written 5 books about herself, a trilogy whose titles seem to tell an odd story (My Friend The Human, Give Me The Human and The Human: Before And After) and a "vicious as can be" essay about her mentor entitled Kothvir Rhymebuckle Is My Life."
Something Awful's EvilDrWong
Of Terror
I embarked in a terrifying biome and there are so many body parts destroying everything. Also my Hammerdorf has risen at least twice I think. I can't tell what's going on because of the eyeball grass movement.
Edit: All my ducks came back to life too!
Something Awful's Teim
Prepare for a ridiculous amount of new content
With the new version out, and stories of bugs and valor pouring in, now is the greatest of times to enjoy Dwarf Fortress stories.
Monday, February 13, 2012
Friday, February 10, 2012
Do horses give good exp?
So there I am, standing in an abandoned fortress covered in blood and horse chunks staring down the last remaining horse. This horse just witnessed 20 of its friends and family murdered at the hands of my hammer. As I approach this horse with a hungry grin he gets up and breaks both my arms and then beats me to a pulp. WELP
Do horses give good exp or did I just waste 15 minutes of my life chasing down horses and slaughtering them only to die to the last one.
Do horses give good exp or did I just waste 15 minutes of my life chasing down horses and slaughtering them only to die to the last one.
Something Awful's ThePriceIsRight
Noble Woodland Creatures
With nearly a dozen criminals and an assortment of animals slain by my sword, I was feeling pretty confident in this character. I was reaching the stage where I could recruit other party members and begin embarking on real quests, and all I had to do was reach town before nightfall and report my successes.
...motherfucker. Bogeymen. These strong-ass monsters don't have any weapons or special powers, but are powerful as hell and can crush a skull with a punch or kick.
Running through the woods, screaming like a little girl, I dart in between trees and over bushes in a desperate attempt to escape. Bogeymen will disappear come daytime, but the moon is high in the sky and I'm boxed in by a river. Sprinting past a copse of trees I trip over what feels like a soft boulder.
SLEEPING COUGAR.
The three of us briefly exchange glances, when suddenly it hits me. This dumbass woodland creature will be my salvation! Everybody knows cougars can't outrun bogeymen! Pushing the cat aside, I run north and then east, laughing as the bogeymen converge on him, kicking and biting and...oh...oh god, what in the fuck
what the fuck, man! No one deserves to die like that, not even an over-sized cat!
Steeling my resolve, I draw my sword and rush back to bogeymen, cursing my foolishness and soft heart. This furry creature will not die tonight, not by this fiend's hand!
COME AT ME
Taking the monster by surprise from behind, I quickly drive my sword deep into its back, piercing his lung. Stunned, the monster is helpless as I lop off his arm in one hard jab
The cougar, all broken bones and gushing wounds, attempts to drag itself away from the fight. Perhaps it's my imagination, but I think I can hear it growl "thank you...my only friend..."
One bogeyman down, but four more to go, so I resume my fleeing, this time to the north and west. Perhaps my good deed would go rewarded. The elves always speak about the forest spirits and their benevolence. Will the woodland creatures come to my aid?
A cete of badgers suddenly appear before me. The leader stands up on his hind legs and beckons to me to join his clan in their last, desperate charge against the foes
nah, fuck badgers. Sunrise eventually came and I escaped.
...motherfucker. Bogeymen. These strong-ass monsters don't have any weapons or special powers, but are powerful as hell and can crush a skull with a punch or kick.
Running through the woods, screaming like a little girl, I dart in between trees and over bushes in a desperate attempt to escape. Bogeymen will disappear come daytime, but the moon is high in the sky and I'm boxed in by a river. Sprinting past a copse of trees I trip over what feels like a soft boulder.
SLEEPING COUGAR.
The three of us briefly exchange glances, when suddenly it hits me. This dumbass woodland creature will be my salvation! Everybody knows cougars can't outrun bogeymen! Pushing the cat aside, I run north and then east, laughing as the bogeymen converge on him, kicking and biting and...oh...oh god, what in the fuck
what the fuck, man! No one deserves to die like that, not even an over-sized cat!
Steeling my resolve, I draw my sword and rush back to bogeymen, cursing my foolishness and soft heart. This furry creature will not die tonight, not by this fiend's hand!
COME AT ME
Taking the monster by surprise from behind, I quickly drive my sword deep into its back, piercing his lung. Stunned, the monster is helpless as I lop off his arm in one hard jab
The cougar, all broken bones and gushing wounds, attempts to drag itself away from the fight. Perhaps it's my imagination, but I think I can hear it growl "thank you...my only friend..."
One bogeyman down, but four more to go, so I resume my fleeing, this time to the north and west. Perhaps my good deed would go rewarded. The elves always speak about the forest spirits and their benevolence. Will the woodland creatures come to my aid?
A cete of badgers suddenly appear before me. The leader stands up on his hind legs and beckons to me to join his clan in their last, desperate charge against the foes
nah, fuck badgers. Sunrise eventually came and I escaped.
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